Ok Cupid is free to join, free to search, and free to message. You can do almost anything online these days: Check a bank balance, buy shoes, choose a mattress, order a cab.
So when Roberta Caploe was ready to start dating again after a divorce, she didn’t ask her friends to fix her up or feel the need to frequent bars or health clubs.She signed up for JDate, an online dating site for Jewish singles. You might want to go to the movies–your partner will make sure you go out to dinner instead. He or she might even brag about the fact that they have left a trail of tears behind them. You might be terrified of what your partner will say or do if you tell them. He used to put you up on a pedestal…and now all he does is try to tear you down. From little things to big things, you feel like your partner never listens. They lie about things they don’t need to lie about. They can swear on their life that they are not lying. A healthy person is consistent in the way they treat people, regardless of their status. Your partner has a bad reputation or a tradition of “messy relationships”.Even if you were perfect, your partner would make you out to be completely messed up. They can be funny, easy-going, exciting, attractive. You feel a pull to them, and they make you feel special. They act as if they are the smartest, hottest, richest or most successful person and everyone knows it. You did something wrong first to make them explode.
If he or she does something that is clearly wrong, they will find a way to turn it back around on you. They will even tell you this if they get the chance. The police have always been out to get them even though they never do anything wrong.
Or, if they do something nice for you, they feel entitled to a reward, and if you don’t do what they want, they are entitled to punish you. Your partner embarrasses you in front of other people or talks badly behind your back. They might talk to other people about how bad they have it and how hard it is to date someone like you.
They might call you fat in front of your friends, or make fun of your clothes. You don’t understand what went wrong, or why your partner acts the way they do or what you can do to make things better.
They are gatekeepers to a massive population of potential partners; they control who we meet and how. So Consumer Reports decided to survey almost 115,000 subscribers about online dating and their experiences with it.
Collectively, we spend huge sums of money on matchmaking, not to mention all the time and substantial emotional investment. Given that we usually rate products (like refrigerators) and services (like banking), this is new and fairly unusual territory for us.
The more recently active group rated specific sites. On the one hand, the numbers indicate that these sites are helping people find mates.