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This is, unsurprisingly, pretty strongly gendered: There are tons of men who are, say, 36, and list their dating age range from 20 – 35, or women who are 28 and list their dating age range from 29 – 44.

Stick to these rules, be kinda funny, try not to be a cliché machine (you love to laugh and couldn’t live without your family and friends?! ) and your profile should be at least marginally acceptable (and hopefully won’t end up here for the wrong reasons).

___If you've got your own online dating horror stories, drop them below, or submit them anonymously.

And why do you, a 23-year-old, want to date someone who could technically be your father if 16 & Pregnant had existed in the 70s? And also realize that while relationships with large age differences can of course be happy and successful, there is usually something wrong with a person who refuses to engage romantically with anyone in their peer group, and instead seeks out a relationship that will involve serious differences in experience and power.

Don’t be the guy who every girl is like, “There’s something wrong with that guy.” Yes, we’ve all been burned while dating, and we all have loooooong lists of things we don’t want in a partner.

Too-soon too-intense over-sharing honesty (you’re experimenting with a new anti-depressant and it’s not going so well; your last breakup was devastating and now you hate all men and can’t have sex without bursting into tears; you sometimes find yourself sexually aroused by water buffalo) is not.

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