Of course it goes without saying that kids come first. Actually, a man trying to impress women with something that should come naturally is a whole ‘nother kinda red flag… If you expect someone to give you all the benefits of a relationship but expect them to tolerate being down on your list of priorities, you have no business dating, full stop.
What I’m saying is when there is a committed healthy (non abusive) relationship, your mate is important too.Like I said before, kids grow up and live their own lives.If the person is single, what else would they put in their photos, but their dog, etc? So, I don’t even read profiles that say, “..children will always come first.” I think kids are really cool, but I don’t need to be in a relationship where I will always com second. This is by far not the only one, but it is the easiest to explain.For one, my child has been in my life for, let’s say, two years.And, like many other online offerings, the "product" received may not always be what was advertised.
So improve your chance of success by keeping an eye out for the following red flags as you sort through potential date’s profiles: Photos: Photos can tell you a lot about a potential date.
Genuinely good, selfless mothers don’t talk the way you do. There are predators who do specifically target unwed mothers for especial attention because they’re looking to find someone who is emotionally vulnerable so that she’s so pre-occupied that they have easy access to kids to do what they really want to do to kids. Single moms do not need extra drama in their lives and if the man is bringing the drama and forcing her to decide “it’s either me or the kids” then she is right to deep six that guy!
Only narcissists who use their kids as a get out of jail free card for why others should put up with their lack of effort, and to promote their image of themselves as all-giving angels do that. Mothers NEED to be alert re: the man who may be a secret pedophile. My advice is that single moms should not date until their children are grown, but I realize not every feels they can do that.
) there are HUGE issues there and the person reading it should run for dear life. So there was no need for you to “counter” with “why I would put my child over a man” because he wasn’t arguing that point - you veered off into a completely different direction with your rant.
You’re definitely projecting…which kinda proves MIKW’s point… Matter of fact, the only time it wouldn’t be a red flag is if it was said by some misguided man who thought women would be super duper impressed he wrote it so he could show everyone just how much he loves his kids—which is, again something we hope would be the case, lol.
And Mc Dermott recommends steering clear of people who don’t have kids but use undue space in their profile soliciting information about the age and sex of your children.