I’ve been with my fiancé for a little over 2.5 years now. We’ve lived an hour apart for our entire relationship except for the past month or so, I’m in the middle of moving in.We’d still see each other every weekend, sometimes more.Typically, what happens when you try to control a partner’s behavior, especially a behavior that is very rewarding to him, a partner will learn to better hide or conceal his activities (see when people lie).
Initially we had web cams, I got rid of mine, he still had his and just put it away a couple months ago (5).
I had always wondered why he kept it set up right next to his computer when we didn’t use it anymore with each other.
And from your boyfriend’s perspective, on-line porn/chatting/sex can be very difficult to stop.
The experience can be extremely rewarding—exciting, stimulating and fun.
The high reward and low cost nature of online cheating makes it difficult to stop.
But from your perspective, it is REAL; it feels like cheating and it hurts just the same (see online cheating). First, attempts to control a partner’s behavior, often fail.
I then went to his sent messages and found he was contacting these girls.
He’d sent things talking about how he was horny and was looking for phone (sex- I assumed),-he’d given his number out on a separate email, he’d tell them he had pictures of him he could send, he’d ask them if they had messengers and webcams, he’d let them know he did, he reminded girls of pictures they were suppose to take... This is over the period of our entire relationship (I could tell by the dates these emails were sent).
4 months ago he received an email from another girl, not sure what she said, but he replied with I’m happily engaged but thank you:),-needless to say that one gave me SOME relief (I saw others where he told them he had a g/f and was just looking for fun, others said "nothing dirty just wanted to chat"..), and the one before that was one month before he asked me to marry him-he told her that he was busy with work and stuff and that he missed her and wanted to say hi you... he describes himself as shy in the beginning but get past that and he’s got a very dirty mind...
4 months before he asked me to marry him he wrote and I quote "awe you left i was gonna say hit me up on yahoo sometime and i’ll show you whatever you like same sn as aff *** take care.... and his ideal match is a woman that’s not afraid to say exactly what she wants. I don’t how often he’s does things-chats, gets on the phone, I don’t even know if he does it anymore... I’m not about to purchase something to hook up to the computer to follow what he does...
And the interactive nature of online chatting/sex adds a level of uncertainty and unpredictability that can be exhilarating for people who crave such stimulation (see why people cheat).