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But the price of not facing up to them is anxiety and neurosis.

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Sometimes we will have a rigid need to run away from every aspect of it – but we are, in this respect, still connected to it. Might you ever have experienced, however fleetingly, a sexual attraction of any kind towards any of them, an attraction that it’s hard to deal with for whatever reason (perhaps they have a partner, would reject you, or challenge your stated sexual orientation)?Irritation should always intrigue us about ourselves.Latently aggressive people will see aggression, the sexual will see a vagina, you will see… Knowing yourself involves being very unfrightened about stuff. Draw your nuclear family on a sheet of A4; putting in parents siblings house a sun a tree. In general, we suffer because a little too much of how we feel is shut away in the unconscious – when we would benefit from a closer grasp on what is actually going on in us. The default balance between conscious and unconscious tends to be wrong.This is suggestive – not science: Have you ever had an incestuous thought? We need to make heroic efforts to correct the imbalance and bring more of our lives into the conscious realm.Spend, for example, one hour writing an answer to each one.

If it’s going well, you should at some point feel like crying, at another point be extremely angry and perhaps at the end feel rather sad for everyone concerned.

ii: The chief problems in my relationship with my father were…

They sound idiotically clichéd questions, but give them the time that their true seriousness actually demands.

What did you learn about relationships from your parents?

Humanity shows extraordinary technological progress in every generation – because we understand more and transmit our knowledge effectively.

Though we spend an inordinate amount of time with ourselves, strangely, it’s remarkably hard to develop a proper understanding of how we operate: what we want, how we feel and why we react as we do.